Blonde Demolition Read online

  The one that made her scar ache.

  Along with her heart.

  She took in a deep breath, letting it out silently. "Oh, Jesse. Sometimes I wish I could."

  She heard him as he shifted in his office chair. The one she'd helped pick out.

  "You'd have to kill me afterwards? I've heard that before."

  She chuckled. Jesse always made her laugh. That alone made her care about him. God he was easy to be with.

  "My forte isn't getting rid of bodies. There would be way too many questions." She kept the joke going. Maybe she would feel better if she laughed.

  Her mind returned to what Trey had said last night about children dying.

  "Oh, Mal. I have a tour of the firehouse today, can you do it?" Jesse asked.

  She shuddered. Children. "How many and what age?"

  As much as she didn't want to see kids die for causes created by adults, she didn't want to be around them either. Too painful. If they were older, school age or so, she could get through the experience.

  "A moms club. I think ten of them. Four- and five-year-olds, maybe others."

  A Girl Scout troop she could do. Even a Brownie troop. The visitors would all be girls.

  She had to face this fear and put it to rest. Now wasn't the time, not if Trey was back in her life. She couldn't let Jesse down either.

  She smacked her forehead. What would a therapist say?

  Against her better judgment, she said, "I'll do it."

  "You sure? Maybe one of the college kids can do it."

  She snorted. "Some of those kids can't tie their own shoes."

  "Well, that's true."

  "I'll do it."

  "Thanks, Mal. I had someone else, but they cancelled. You'll find coloring books and plastic helmets in the cabinet."

  She half heard him, half wondered how she'd get through it. In every class, there was some impish blonde kid…

  He would be five years old and full of mischief and personality. Just how she'd been as a child. It's what kept her from being adopted, they'd told her. She was too much child for most people.

  Maybe I wouldn't have made a good mother anyway.

  She shook away the memories and bid Jesse goodbye. Then she headed for the shower.

  The day was going to be very long.

  Cal stepped out of his truck as Mark bounded up to him. The new kid was so full of energy. Cal didn't remember being so enthusiastic at that age. Right now, he wasn't sure he'd been enthusiastic at any age.

  He was tired of being tired.

  "Did you hear?" Mark asked.

  "What?"

  He hoped it wasn't bad news. The kid's expression didn't tell him anything.

  "There was a bomb in the trailer. The beer trailer."

  Bomb? Holy crap!

  He'd taken one evening off and it all went to hell. Why would there be a bomb in the beer trailer? His cop mind went into overdrive with the questions that he didn't have the energy to ask.

  "Yeah?"

  "The chief found it and Mallory defused it. She was so cool, as if she'd done it a hundred times."

  Mallory defused a bomb? Something about that niggled at the back of his brain. "Did the bomb squad come?"

  "Yep, but Mallory had it done by the time they arrived."

  Cal kicked himself for going home. He could have helped. At least kept the members calm or something.

  Even today, he wasn't his usual cheery self. He didn't want to be there. He came because the fire company needed this fundraiser.

  He sighed. "Thanks for letting me know, Mark. Do you know where Mallory is?"

  "I think she's doing a tour for some kids in a few minutes."

  "Thanks."

  Cal leaned against his truck as Mark strode away. At twenty-one Mark wasn't anywhere near the man he would become, though Cal thought he'd make a fine one once he settled down.

  It took great effort in the humidity, but he put one foot in front of the other and headed toward the firehouse, thoughts of a possible child in his brain.

  He hadn't dreamt anymore during the night—the thought that he still had family had propelled him out of bed.

  Right now, he longed for that energy back.

  Maybe I should go to the doctor.

  As Mallory suspected he would, Trey walked past her on the fairgrounds. He didn't look like Trey unless you were expecting him. But she'd always had a sixth sense about his presence.

  Her heart beat double-time, but not from the impending tour. She'd shoved that from her mind for the moment.

  "Have you thought about what I said?" Trey murmured behind her.

  She jumped. So much for that sixth sense. I'm out of practice.

  "Don't make a habit of sneaking up on me," she snapped.

  They stood under the food tent. Firefighters made planks and cinder blocks into tables and benches. The township inspector looked over all the gas connections to stoves and pizza ovens.

  Most of the fair workers put together the Tilt-A-Whirl and the giant Ferris wheel that people would see for miles. Things were still on schedule.

  She glanced at Trey.

  He raised an eyebrow. "You used to know when I was near."

  "Been a long time since I've had to watch my back."

  His long slender fingers spread across his chest. "That hurt."

  "Truth does."

  Cal looked her way from the beer tent, his brows knit with worry. She noted that he looked tired. Maybe she shouldn't bring up her idea about finding her parents today. It could wait until the fair was over.

  Cal's pace was slow but steady as he moved toward her. He tugged Mark, the new guy, along with him.

  It always amused her when they circled the wagons around her. It was sweet how they protected her. They had no clue she could defend herself armed or unarmed. That information didn't go along with her trust-fund reputation. No need to enlighten them.

  Trey's words brought her back. "Have you thought about it?"

  "Yes."

  "And?"

  "I didn't come up with an answer." She wouldn't be rushed. She would decide this in her own damn time. Not on someone else's schedule.

  "Better soon."

  "You better move on, Trey."

  He glanced back at the firefighters who walked his way. A sardonic grin creased his face. "Well, well."

  "Leave, Trey. I don't want to see anyone hurt."

  "Me or them?"

  He walked past her as if she didn't exist.

  "He bothering you?" Cal asked.

  She shook her head. "Nope, just asking the time."

  "You didn't look at your watch." Cal stared after Trey, who now turned bolts on the massive Ferris wheel.

  "I don't have one, so I couldn't tell him the time. He was harmless, guys. Thanks anyway."

  Another lie. Trey isn't harmless.

  Though he'd never hurt her physically.

  Just emotionally.

  CHAPTER 4

  The kids were wide-eyed and eager for knowledge as they came in with their mothers. The noise level in the firehouse catapulted.

  Mallory had spent the last fifteen minutes in front of the mirror, convincing herself she could do this.

  All the kids were girls except for one…a blonde boy with an impish grin, who led the charge to climb into the cab of the ladder truck. She sighed as she lifted him in. They always had an impish grin. This one had glasses that made his huge eyes look even bigger.

  And lots of personality.

  "My daddy drives a truck and it's bigger than this," he said to her as she raised the seat. He wouldn't be able to see out the windshield, but the kids loved the ride.

  Her heart fluttered in her chest. He was five. She knew this with all of her being. His mother had the tired look of someone who answered questions all day and felt relief when the boy went to sleep.

  "Trucks that big aren't good for firefighting," she said. She helped his small frame out of the cab, afraid she would drop him. His smell, his touch se
nt her to a place she did not want to go. Sweat trickled, despite the air-conditioned firehouse.

  Kids made her nervous. Maybe Jesse did this on purpose. He wanted kids and knew she didn't.

  Anyway, I won't be having any children.

  The boy looked up at her. "Lady?"

  Had he asked her a question?

  "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't hear you."

  "Do you drive this truck?"

  "I am qualified and yes, on occasion, I do bring it to a fire. We don't use it for all fires."

  He cocked his head and his blonde hair fell over his forehead. She longed to brush it away, although she knew one had to be careful about touching children.

  Her heart swelled with both pain and love. This kid is a heart breaker.

  "They let girls drive trucks?"

  She laughed. It bubbled out of her, lessening her cardiac ache. "Of course. We girls can do lots of things."

  "Even save the world?"

  She knelt down to be eyelevel with him. "Yes, girls can even save the world."

  Trey had wandered into the firehouse just as the tour wound down. The children's laughter had drawn him. There was nothing so sweet and innocent as those giggles and squeals.

  He didn't understand why Mallory looked ragged, as if she'd gone ten rounds with a prizefighter. His arms itched to pull her close, even though she'd insisted she'd never wanted that from him.

  Kids and moms filed past him out the back bay door. They didn't see him. He'd become part of the invisible, like the janitors and maids of the world.

  His muscles ached from a day of hard physical labor. He wouldn't need to work out tonight. But he would need to pin down Mallory. If she weren't going to help, her presence here would hinder him.

  Wouldn't it?

  He sighed, not sure if the suggestion had come from the cold rational part of him or the emotional side he didn't let loose.

  Mallory leaned against the back of the ladder truck and let out a noisy breath.

  Trey made sure no knights in Nomex armor lurked about to protect her. "You look beat."

  She straightened and stiffened. Her lids sat half-mast. "You shouldn't be in here."

  He put a hand on one of the trucks. "Don't you let the carnies in here?"

  A wave of emotion raced across her face and then was gone. "Something like that."

  He leaned in closer, his mouth nearer to her ear. He whispered, "I need an answer."

  "And I need more time," she said through gritted teeth.

  He straightened. "We don't have any time. We've detected some movement."

  "What kind?" She held up a hand before he could answer. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

  "Yeah, you do."

  She shook her head and screwed up her face as if she'd tasted bad medicine. "Don't pull me in unless I want to be pulled in."

  "You want it."

  Maybe I just need her back so much I think she wants back in the spy game.

  He wouldn't have seen her at all if he hadn't come home early that day. She would have left him like a thief in the night. The idea still cut a trench in his heart.

  Crossing his arms, he gazed at her. Willing her to answer him. Willing her to look him in the eye. Willing her to still care about him.

  She didn't seem to do any of those things. She just sat with her eyes closed, leaning her head against the red metal of the fire truck.

  Her eyes popped open, not looking at him. "I need another day."

  "You're the fair lady?" a man in a brown uniform asked.

  Fair Lady? Trey had never thought of Mallory as a damsel in distress.

  "That's me." She pushed to her feet. "You need a signature?"

  "You bet."

  Now Trey understood.

  She signed the clipboard and the man handed her a package. He left. She didn't open it. Instead, she set it on the truck's bumper. "Don't you have work to do?"

  "Break time. Union rules."

  Her shoulders slumped and he wondered what she'd gone through to seem so defeated. It had just been a bunch of kids. Most of them cute. No one screamed or cried.

  What was her problem besides him?

  "Fine, I'll go." Mallory snatched the package and brushed past him.

  "I'll be by tonight to get your answer."

  "Maybe I won't be there." She whirled, her eyes on fire. "Maybe I don't stay home nights thinking about the government and what it needs."

  "You'll stay up nights if more people are killed. Especially kids."

  Her fire banked and he knew he'd hit the mark.

  "That was low."

  "I do what works."

  Cal stood on the other side of the fire truck. While he couldn't hear her words, her tone—one he'd never heard before—suggested she didn't want to speak with the man. He glanced around the truck to see him stroll away. Something about his posture set Cal on edge.

  Mallory walked to the bathroom, dragging her feet.

  That was how he felt, though she shouldn't be that bad off. He wanted to follow. He didn't because Mallory had always been a private person.

  He sighed, which he'd been doing a lot lately, and moved in her direction. "Mallory?"

  She stopped and when she turned to him, her face held a smile that did not reach her eyes. "Yeah?"

  "You okay?"

  "Fine, Cal. You need something?"

  "No, just making sure that guy wasn't bugging you."

  "He wasn't." She ran a hand through her hair and it messed up her ponytail. She didn't fix it. She sighed. "You okay? You look tired."

  "I am, but it's that time of year. We'll all get sleep once this is over."

  She cocked her head as if she had a question on her mind. It remained unspoken. "Not much to do now. You should get some rest before tonight."

  Cal smiled at her. "You should take your own advice."

  Her breath came out in ragged pants as she trudged to the ladies room. If anyone else saw her like this, they'd question her. She'd been cool, her temper in check. Her emotions kept in, close to her. Even with children involved.

  Must be Trey.

  She reviewed her words to him. She'd stayed up a few nights waiting for Trey.

  That won't happen again.

  She splashed her face with cold water, thankful that with few women in the firehouse she didn't have to worry about a parade of people. The door was locked anyway.

  Her face was splotchy red. No cosmetics would hide that. She took deep breaths to slow down her pulse, calming the rage of emotions.

  No one knows my buttons like Trey.

  She hated him for it. She ran a hand over her head and tugged at the band that held back her hair. It fell in rings around her face. She shook it all out, then pulled it back again.

  Just like she did with the feelings that churned inside.

  Satisfied all was back in place and the world would think nothing had happened, she exited the bathroom.

  And ran into Jesse.

  "Whoa." He stopped her from stumbling. "I was looking for you."

  She pasted on a smile and stared deep into his dark-brown eyes. They held such warmth and she was cold. His friendship meant the world to her and chased away the chill.

  His gaze bore into her, though he didn't ask questions. She wanted to kiss him for it. Instead, she hugged him.

  He stepped back.

  "Shouldn't you be at work?" she asked.

  "I'm done. Half day." His grin was lopsided, but not comical. The expression held tenderness. "You need me here more. I'll be your go-to guy."

  "Wow. You're the chief."

  "But this is your show and I know how many last-minute details there can be. I am at your service."

  She couldn't help but smile at his bow. The gesture filled her with such joy there was no room for bad thoughts—no room for thoughts about Trey coming back to see her tonight.

  In fact, there was no room for Trey in her mind at all.

  The last-minute details intruded. Mallory ran around,
or had Jesse run around, for the next six hours. Putting out fires. One literal one. Someone had put the grill away dirty. When it heated, old grease caught fire. An orange flame licked at the striped tent.

  Of course, being firefighters, no one panicked.

  When she sat down after all the tasks were done, she smelled food. Good barbecued food. Steak. Her mouth watered.

  A plate piled high with beef and corn and potato salad appeared under her nose as if she'd conjured it herself.

  "You need this."

  Jesse sat down next to her under the food tent with his own plate of food.

  She rubbed his back. "You are the best."

  "We aim to please."

  "Where'd this come from?"

  "I took the liberty of getting some steaks for the guys and gals that have been here all day. Don't worry it didn't come out of your budget."

  This guy was too good. She reveled in how uncomplicated these firefighters were. They took her at face value. They didn't question her or make her question herself. No one had even asked her about her bomb-defusing skills. They just took it as a talent they never knew she had.

  "I wasn't worried that it had. Thanks for doing this. I think everyone appreciates it."

  "Have to keep the guys and ladies happy. Besides, it'll be a long week."

  She groaned. He didn't know just how long it would be.

  The steak melted in her mouth and her lids dropped closed in an effort to prolong the moment.

  "You are in ecstasy."

  "I am."

  Jesse leaned close to her ear. "I like putting that look on your face."

  To eat was a simple pleasure. One she sometimes took for granted. Even though any meal could be interrupted at any moment by a fire call, she still reveled in the idea that most were not.

  Two detectives showed up on the fairgrounds just as Mallory was ready to leave. Jesse walked her to her car. He squeezed her hand. "You want me to stay?"

  She did, except she didn't want him to know some of what she had to tell the detectives. She had never practiced her story. Tonight would be the test.